MOST PATHETIC NAME FOR AN NFL PLAYER, OR FOR ANY HUMAN BEING FOR THAT MATTER:
Alge Crumpler. What were his parents thinking? OK they were stuck with Crumpler, but then they tack on Alge?? No wonder this guy made it to the NFL, he had to have been enduring daily fistfights from kindergarten on. He and his brother, Fungus.

MOST HORRIFIC SHAPED HEAD:
Tra Thomas. Man, we are truly sorry. And a bit frightened.

MOST INANE UTTERANCE BY A BROADCASTER:
John Madden: "That's why Michael Vick is Michael Vick." Thank God he is not Tom Brady.

RUNNERUP FOR MOST INANE UTTERANCE:
John Madden: "I like it when referees wear glasses."