News to Reuse: Worst. Grad Speech. Ever., bad tomatoes reach Bucks and International Happy Day is (apparently) June 20
Submitted by jstudent on Thu, 2008-06-19 13:13.
[ ] Olympic gold medalist, and Willingboro (NJ) High School grad, Carl Lewis returned to his alma mater this week to surprise the graduating seniors with a few scholarships and some words of encouragement that went about as well as his singing career did. (BurlCo Times)
From the post:
…Lewis, a 1979 graduate of the school, presented scholarships to Vanessa Muse and Amanda Hamilton during the senior breakfast and offered the graduating class some words of wisdom.
“Make sure you do something so that you can sell yourself the rest of your lives,” he said. “If you can't sell yourself, you'll end up on the street.”
He also offered a dose of reality and asked all of the black males in the cafeteria to stand up.
“By the time you are 30 years old, right now factually, half of you will be either dead or in jail,” he said. “You are the half that isn't dead or in jail. You have to take control of your lives.”…
Um….Uh…
And that singing career? Well, there’s this:
and this…
[ ] ‘Member those evil tomatoes? They have sickened someone in Bucks County. (Courier Times)
Finally, something other than lower middle class people, live music and imminent cultural change is sickening the people of Upper and Central Bucks.
[ ] According to a psychologists’ scientific theory, tomorrow will be the happiest day of the year. (Courier Times)
From the story:
Happiness is many things to many people ... a cold beer on a hot day ... a pair of Manolo Blahniks ... the laugh of a child ... the smile of a beautiful woman. …
To scientists at Cardiff University, it's O + (N x S) + Cpm/T + He.
And, if they're right, this Friday is going to be the happiest day of your whole year.
The formula from researchers at the college in England equates happiness with a series of factors for (O) outdoor activity, (N) nature, (S) social interaction, (Cpm) positive memories of childhood, (T) temperature, and (He) for holidays or anticipated time off. …
Philly EDGE notes three things:
1- There is no symbol or accounting for blow job or cunnilingus (BJ or MitB - man in the boat) in the equation. That’s flawed logic.
2- Cardiff has never qualified for the NCAA Tournament. Posers.
3- We agree with the folks at With Leather: “(Marisa Miller) is the greatest thing ever. Christmas and sunsets and the laughter of children can all go fuck themselves, Marisa Miller is the winner of the contest.”
