News to Reuse (‘Burbs Gone Wild Ed.): Mr. Big, Naked Penn Stater and Wawa = boobies, live music, gay sex, wind turbines, etc.
Submitted by jstudent on Fri, 2008-06-13 12:41.
Apparently, Wednesday’s news about the suburban women who (allegedly) turned a sleepover into every teen sex comedy film you have ever seen was a harbinger of the news to come from the oh-so-stately suburbs of Philly.
Buckle up.
[ ] A lawyer for a Lansdale (Montco) man theorizes that his client could not have committed a rape because his penis is “extremely large.”… He wanted to make a plaster cast of it to show to the jury. No, really. (Intelligencer and jokes already provided by WillDo)
[ ] State Rep. Paul Clymer of Bucks County continues his assault on the baring of breasts: He has proposed a statewide $5 tax on patrons entering strip clubs. (Intelligencer)
From the story:
You're more likely to find Elizabeth Burke penning a play than downing beers at a frat house kegger.
But when the 20-year-old Penn State junior from Jamison decided to don a Halloween mask and take part in a university tradition by streaking naked on campus, she unwittingly set herself up for a legal battle with Centre County's Court of Common Pleas.
…While seven or eight others — all males — were also cited, the Central Bucks East graduate is the only one who is fighting the charge. She believes she did not violate the law because her actions did not “affront or alarm” anyone, a condition that must be met in order to violate the law, her attorney argues….Since the students were a willing audience, they were not affronted or offended, so Burke is not guilty of a crime, Stacy Parks Miller, Burke's attorney, said….
Centre County District Attorney Michael Madeira said all that's required to prove open lewdness is the likelihood that someone could be offended by a lewd act. When you gallivant naked in public, there's a good chance that will bother someone, he said.
“We here in Centre County are not willing to give away a portion of our community to lawlessness,” said Madeira, adding Burke would likely get probation if convicted. …
First: no pictures? How can we tell if we might have been offended?
Second: The hockey mask seems to be THE retro cool crime disguise in Central Bucks these days. And how appropriate.
Third: In the story, Burke’s attorney argues that it is a “tradition,” therefore it’s harmless. Uh, point taken but the rationale is perhaps a wee bit flawed: see human sacrifice, slavery, child labor – all “traditions” since slightly reevaluated.
These days only newspapers do things because they “always do this.”
Fourth: That Centre County D.A. could totally run for Mayor of Doylestown. And win.
[ ] And, of course, there’s more on the sleepover party. (Inky) AND the same sort of thing happened in Western Pa. (Courier Times blog)
[ ] Warminster, perhaps fearful of the type of lascivious conduct that is so often associated with consumers of Shortis, Sizzlis and Smoothies, has rejected a proposal to build a huge Wawa at Street and Newtown roads. (Intelligencer)
Wawa should have already received consolations from Coyotes Show Bar, Siren Records, Bam Margera, Gay Park Guys, the Giant Turtle, wind turbines, Jill McDevitt…
