Philly EDGE correspondent Tara Nurin's story on Club Kama Sutra,the Philly sex club that was shut down earlier this month.
-ED

Swinging from the ’burbs
Club Kama Sutra drew suburbanites, others into city to ‘participate in the lifestyle’

by Tara Nurin

You can find almost anything on South Street in Philadelphia: a falafel sandwich, a spiked dog collar or butt plugs for your mom. These products clutter the sidewalks and clamor for the attention of curious browsers. Just beside them, quietly hidden inside a storefront in this retail haven, you can also find sex.
But not since November 12 ; not at Club Kama Sutra anyway.
That’s the day the city’s L & I (Department of Licenses and Inspections) squad ordered the closing of Club Kama Sutra, a lifestyle club at which city and suburban swingers engaged in consensual intimate activity. Police say they closed the business because the club had both fire and electrical code violations.
While it is still unclear as to when, or if, the club will reopen, it is certain that prior to its closing, Club Kama Sutra was a sexual funhouse, a club where people from both the suburbs and the city who “participate in the lifestyle” came to explore their libidos.
What follows is an account of a Saturday night at the South Philly club prior to November 12.

Sexually you can do whatever consenting adults agree to at Club Kama Sutra, provided you’re not a guy masturbating by yourself or touching another guy, and you’re not paying or pressuring anyone or making them uncomfortable.
Comfort is a word you hear a lot at CKS. It pervades the ethos of the club and believe it or not, is a big reason many members join.
A cute blonde nurse from Cherry Hill says that belonging to the club has improved her self-esteem.
“Here, I see not everyone looks like they do in Hollywood,” says “Stephanie,” who’s 31 and has just had a daughter. “I’m free to be myself without getting judged. It’s all about being real.”
Stephanie is topless and exposing her pierced nipples as she describes her sex life. But nothing feels sleazy about it to anyone around her. To them, it feels natural.
That’s the vibe CKS’s married owners, Al and “Redhead,” hope their club emanates. They insist on making their space as safe and unthreatening as possible.
When asked why she and her husband didn’t decorate the club more sensually, Redhead answers, “A lot of people are coming to meet for the first time. They don’t want to immediately be walking into a dark den feeling like, ‘Okay, we’re supposed to have sex now.’”
So, it’s all about the comfort level.
No, you’re right. It’s all about the sex, then the comfort level.
For example, the first step inside the locked front door doesn’t dump you onto a pile of writhing, naked bodies; instead, you find yourself in an average tiki bar/buffet area, where no nudity is allowed.
There, while you relax over a drink (the club is BYOB, but bartenders provide mixers), a chatty and girl-next-door looking hostess, Stacy, goes over the rules. She tells couples interested in joining CKS that they are welcome to “play” as much or as little as they want, either together or with others. But they absolutely must ask before they touch and they should please alert one of the many security guards if someone acts in a manner offensive to them.
Upstairs, strangers smile warmly, either in genuine greeting, or in hopes they’ll get you naked. But it’s still a few more minutes before a new visitor may experience anything too shocking.
Stacy shows guests some large empty cubicles full of futon cushions, towels, clean sheets (mandatory for each new encounter) and buckets brimming with condoms (not mandatory, but strongly encouraged). In these rooms, couples can romp in full view of interested onlookers, or they can keep their activities private.
Later, finally, 20 minutes into the tour, bingo. The proverbial kimono opens to reveal a huge room, surrounded by windows and with a glass ceiling, where people are getting it on.
This particular evening, the sex swing isn’t in use, but the futons are full of couples “playing.” Watching through the glass, visitors can witness it all: oral sex, manual sex, couple-swapping sex, and sex that Bill Clinton didn’t have with Monica Lewinsky. Tonight, the rain falling outside must have people in a mellow mood because there is no girl-on-girl play.
You can’t drink, smoke or talk loudly on this level. If you want some of that action, climb the steps to the third floor where people are really gettin’ this party started. Sexy couples are dancing, flirting and watching the show below through the glass floor, while scattered around them are people engaged in all kinds of sexual encounters.
“Luke,” a 35-year-old elementary school teacher from South Jersey, says fooling around with girlfriends and female friends like this is titillating and liberating.
“Look, man, you’re two human beings and it feels good,” he says. “As long as you’re safe and careful with what you do, it’s a fun thing.”
And “George,” the husband of the aforementioned Stephanie, says a night at the club beats a night in a crowded bar full of rude strangers who want to get in your pants but won’t admit it upfront.
“Why would I want to get dirty looks from guys in Old City when I can just come here and spend a nice night out with my wife and my friends? It doesn’t end up costing any more in the end, either,” he says.
A lot of members echo the refrain about how polite and friendly everyone is, and they stress that they’re all consenting adults who have a vested interest in preserving the atmosphere. Plus, the fees may help keep out some of the riff-raff. It costs $100 per couple per year, plus up to $100 a couple to attend each party.
You get a mix of type, too. Some women and men are hot, some aren’t.
Redhead estimates 70 percent of the club’s members live outside the city. Stacy says she and her husband often get together socially with sex-club friends and their kids, just like regular suburbanites.
But many of them do choose to keep their wild weekend activities at the club somewhat undercover to the unsuspecting outside world. What their lawn-mowing neighbors don’t know is quite alright, thank you very much, even though the members themselves declare their voyeuristic or exhibitionist proclivities just the right spice in the recipe for their romantic relationships.
“We were looking for a way to enhance our marriage after nine years,” Stephanie says. “We both look at other people. Everyone does. This way we can explore these desires within the bounds of our vows.”
“Automatically we assume if couples are going out to have sex with other couples there must be something wrong with their relationship,” adds Dr. Chris Fariello, director of the Institute for Sex Therapy at the Philadelphia-based, non-profit Council for Relationships. “(But) these clubs are usually comprised of people who are in more healthy relationships. They have not made sex the focal point of their bond. It’s something that they share together, and, like mountain climbing or tennis, it’s also something they share with other people.”
However: buyer beware.
“If you don’t already have a good relationship, don’t come,” cautions “Delilah,” a gorgeous stay-at-home mom from Shamong, N.J. “You have to have faith and trust in your partner for this to work. You have to set out the boundaries and the rules ahead of time.”
And what of the notion that sex in public with multiple partners can make sex at home with a spouse feel tepid in comparison?
Luke says, no, not at all. Having sex at the club isn’t necessarily better, just different.
“It’s not like, ‘Oh, my God, we went to this extreme and now regular sex sucks,’” he says. “ (For instance) every now and then you go to a different restaurant…. Or casual Friday. You’re dressed up every day but every now and then you wear a pair of jeans to work on casual Friday. It doesn’t mean you hate wearing your shirt and tie.”
Smiling widely, Delilah gushes, “Sex at home is awesome.”
Of course, there’s no money-back-guarantee that joining the club will deliver a more fulfilling sex life and a closer bond with one’s mate.
But as Club Kama Sutra approaches its five-year anniversary, you don’t hear any regulars complaining of buyer’s remorse.