The Vagina dialogue
Submitted by dtomko on Tue, 2007-03-06 20:32.The Vagina dialogue
A former Philly resident celebrates her ‘naughty’ part
By Ryan Alan
Philly EDGE Correspondent
Former Philadelphia resident Jessica Delfino, an alumnus of the Art Institute of Philadelphia, doesn’t beat around the bush.
In fact, the acclaimed and self-proclaimed “dirty folk” comic-musician isn’t shy about sharing the most intimate of personal insights.
Apparently in the long tradition of, “If You’ve Got It, Flaunt It,” Delfino is telling all who will listen and watch, “My Pussy Is Magic,” in her new hot-button music video.
If gynecological researchers are salivating about the prospects of getting her in their stirrups for a closer inspection, they are keeping tight-gloved about it.
Meanwhile, the video already has been banned, and then re-instated, by YouTube, sending almost 50,000 viewers to the Web site to conduct their own examination. Many more Web sites have linked to “My Pussy Is Magic,” including ComedyCentral.com, Gawker.com and Denmark’s Vkmag.com.
Delfino’s publicist,
In conjunction with director Matt Davis (whose credits include Mad TV, Martin Short’s Primetime Glick, and MTV’s forthcoming Human Giant), Delfino mixes live action and animation in adapting her decidedly ribald act to video.
She has been praised by Comedy Central, Jane, The Washington Post, New York Daily News, and has appeared on Good Morning America and Opie & Anthony.
Delfino has toured with The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players among others.
Not exactly amusing, but not hurting her career, is the fact that the Catholic League has denounced the Catholic-raised performer’s “My Pussy Is Magic” video, despite such life-affirming lyrics as:
Glitter, sprinkles, rainbow fluff
and all sorts of other kinds of magical stuff
is hidden in my vagina
it’s a piñata/so divina!”
Delfino fired back with a full-frontal attack on Catholic League president William Donohue, calling him a “hypocrite and a bigot.”
“I don’t know why he is afraid of refocusing attention on humanity’s true source of creation: the mysterious and magical womb. That doesn’t make him a better Catholic than me,” she said.
To sort it all out, Philly EDGE dispatched correspondent and resident cunning linguist Ryan Alan for this in-depth vagina dialogue with Delfino:
Philly EDGE: How would you describe your “My Pussy Is Magic” video to someone who has not seen it?
Delfino: “It’s a rap-pop-extravaganza-vagina video featuring me dressed like something between a mariachi singer and a gay man, dancing around and singing about the mysteries of the magical vagina. There's also animation and special effects. I'd also use words like ‘funny,’ ‘ridiculous,’ and ‘kind of gross.’ ”
Philly EDGE: Of all the possible targets today, why do you think the Catholic League decided to aim at you?
Delfino: “They thought by the looks of my pretty face that I'd be an easy target. I also think that William Donohue was excited by the attention my video was getting, and wanted to get some of it for himself. But there's no way that he chose to target my video because of his ‘catholic beliefs,’ and he proved that with his anti-catholic behavior.”
Philly EDGE: Were you surprised that you were being criticized for the video?
Delfino: “I wouldn't have been surprised if it were the only thing like that out there, but it's not. It's one ribald song in a literal sea of silly, dirty songs. It's actually even ‘cleanish’ compared to some of the songs out there. So, I was even more than surprised...I was flattered. And honored. And maybe even touched.”
Philly EDGE: Have you received any response from William Donohue?
Delfino: “No, I haven't. But I don't know whether I should demand an apology or send him a thank you note for all the attention I've gotten.”
Philly EDGE: Would it, perhaps, serve him well to discover the magic of your song title?
Delfino: “It would, perhaps, serve him well to discover that God created vaginas, and God said to respect and admire all of his creations.”
Philly EDGE: Any thoughts for Catholics who do not share his conservative view of life?
Delfino: “I think they should take a stand against fake conservative Catholics who give their religion a bad name.”
Philly EDGE: Have you, like many others, found Catholicism to be a rich source to mine for humor? Or does any denomination have as seemingly vast a potential for humor?
Delfino: “My act has nothing to do with Catholicism, and that is pretty clear to anyone who's not retarded, and to anyone who's not Will Donohue. I probably sometimes even purposefully avoid religion to keep creeps like Donohue off my back.
However, I believe that everything has comedic potential. It's just a matter of finding the right audience to appreciate it. I am not too inspired by religion in general, though, because it wasn't very significant in my life. I used to go to church as a kid with our neighbors, but my parents made me stop going because the church people told me my family was going to burn in hell for not coming to church with me, and I started having nightmares and throwing away my dad's cigarettes when he wasn't looking. I probably cost him a fortune in lost Marlboro Mediums.”
Philly EDGE: Why do vaginas seem to frighten some people? They seem like such friendly parts of the anatomy.
Delfino: “This is a great question. By some ‘people,’ you mean some ‘men.’ right? However, European men don't seem as afraid of vaginas as American men are. I don't know why some people fear the vagina. Maybe it would help if they wrote a rap song about it.”
Philly EDGE: Has it now become almost a mark of achievement for which to strive: to be banned by YouTube?
Delfino: “When will the powers that be learn? Banning someone's art or music is almost a surefire way to helping them become more successful. It's human nature to want to do and see things that they aren't ‘allowed’ to.”
Philly EDGE: Do you think YouTube is too conservative in its own right, too quick to want to pull a video?
Delfino: “Money will do that to a person. If you were offered $1.65 billion, you'd be surprised at how quickly some of your ‘beliefs’ might change.”
Philly EDGE: Viral video, those video clips that are gaining significant exposure through Internet sharing, is still exploding. Why is that and where do you see it heading?
Delfino: “I think that the uselessness of most 9-to-5 day jobs have a lot to do with the success of viral videos. In my most delightful fantasy, I see viral video taking the world into a new frontier of humanity; one that will produce a more intellectual, thoughtful and mature breed of mankind. In my darkest fantasy, I see it leading to the complete annihilation of the human race. Was that too much?”
Philly EDGE: Has Philadelphia been a good market for you?
Delfino: “I went to school in Philadelphia, at the Art Institute. I was very poor and struggled a lot there, which is perhaps part of the reason why my ideas of a future in comedy and performing and my very first stage experiences happened there. I've since performed several times in Philadelphia, and the audience response was amazing. Philadelphia loves dirty songs! Therefore, I love Philadelphia.”
Philly EDGE: What do you find funny in Philly?
Delfino: “I like the way they call sandwiches ‘hoagies.’ The suburbs of New Jersey just outside of Philly are pretty hilarious. The fact that people swarm to this one city to eat foot-long steaks drenched in cheese is amusing. What a strange claim to fame!
And, that Philly accent is unparalleled. The way they pronounce ‘oa’ as ‘eu.’ Ha! It's like they're French without all that actual French-ness. Sometimes it's like they're speaking a different language. Accents are funny to me in general. I mean, what the hell?
And Rocky running up the steps of the (Art) Museum - high comedy. But I love Philadelphia. It's where I learned how to art.”
Philly EDGE: How would you describe your comedic style, your approach to comedy?
Delfino: “This is always a tough one for me, because I don't have a simple answer. A TimeOut New York writer once described my life as a ‘junior-high art project of an existence.’ I like that description, even though he meant it as an insult. I have always felt like a kid who never wanted to grow up. … I think my comedy is twisted, yet smart and maybe something else enough that it comes across as mostly endearing.”
Philly EDGE: What do you see as your strengths; or what do you hope they are?
Delfino: “I have faith in my ability to write - jokes, stories, song lyrics and a melody that sticks in your head like you used super glue. My sweet face can come in handy, and the fact that I'm a girl, because people automatically underestimate pretty girls. Then I come swinging with a one-two comedy punch that no one was expecting.”
Philly EDGE: When did you realize you had a talent for making people laugh, for reaching people?
Delfino: “I learned very young that making people laugh was easy, but that it would get my mouth washed out with soap. Later, I almost won ‘class clown’ in sixth-grade, but this mean butchy bitch named Faith who was three years older than the rest of the class bullied everyone into voting for her. Now I'm glad I didn't win class clown. Clowns are dumb. Except for this one redheaded clown I met in Arkansas, and New York City's Red Bastard. They are pretty funny. But Ronald McDonald, for example, sucks.”
Philly EDGE: Can you talk about your music, your interest in it, and its role in your comedy?
Delfino: “I began playing a guitar when I was 15. I ran away from home at age 15 and never really went back. My boyfriend at the time, who was four years older than me, bought me a guitar to try to keep me out of trouble. I taught myself every Led Zeppelin song I knew, plus a bunch of Rush, Joni Mitchell, Neil Young, and the other stuff that was played on Maine radio. Cut to four years ago, I was warned not to use a guitar in my comedy act by some of my comedian peers and mentors. After I made my comedian boyfriend (he's ancient history now), whose sense of humor I respected very much, roll with laughter at a song I played for him, he gave me his blessing. He actually said, ‘You have to do that on stage.’”
Philly EDGE: Besides vaginas, are you known for any particular jokes/bits etc?
Delfino: “I sing a song on my rape whistle, which people like a lot. But I guess that comes back around to the vagina. Some people really like my other video/song which talks about how ‘I wanna be famous,’ and my plan to make that happen. My ‘Lullabye’ song gets a big reaction from people. It's a song where I say ‘my mother used to sing to me when I was just a little girl,’ and then, of course, it's a whole anecdote about how badly life is going to suck - but it's so beautiful. Most of my songs get good reactions. ‘My Nipples Are The Clits Of My Tits’ is a real crowd-pleaser, as is ‘Crippling Seasonal Depression’ and ‘Grand Piano.’ And none of them are about the vag. I have jokes about ass-sex, homeless people and pimples that are all winners. When I do the hits, it can be an impressive sight, if I do say so myself, and I think I just did.”
Philly EDGE: You’ve referred to yourself as a ‘dirty folk comic.’ Can you elaborate on that title please?
Delfino: “I have a lot of songs in the style of folk, but they are filthy. Songs such as, ‘Sudden Change,’ with the chorus, ‘Once a month for a week, I bleed from my vagina’ apologizes for the ‘Sudden Change’ women go through, and ‘Life Keeps Fucking Me (In The Ass)’ is a lament about what a drag life can be, sung from the point of view that life is a mean jerk who keeps trying to trick me into anal sex. My first album is called ‘Dirty Folk Rock’ and features most of my original ‘dirty folk’ hits, as well as one or two rockers, such as a cover of Iron Maiden's ‘Run To The Hills.’
Philly EDGE: Is there subject matter that you consider off limits?
Delfino: “Not really. I have jokes about rape, the homeless, Mexicans, killing people and vaginas. If I haven't written about it, it's probably because I haven't been able to think of a way to make it funny in a way that someone else already has...yet.”
Philly EDGE: Your bio says that you have been described as “a cross between Redd Foxx and Jewel.’ Are you comfortable with that designation?
Delfino: “I've made peace with it. To be compared to Redd Foxx is quite an honor. Jewel doesn't have the historic relevance that Redd Foxx does, but she is also pretty amazing in her own ways.”
Philly EDGE: Do you have any new projects to let people know about?
Delfino: “I'm working on a book, a record deal, a development deal, a tour, I'm in a play, I'm developing a character called ‘T-Top Trans-Am’ and a show for her. I perform my comedy act in New York City a few times a week, I'm in a histrionic fear-metal band called Haunted Pussy and there are some other musical and comedy projects in the wings. I'm a workaholic who loves attention and hates being bored.”
Philly EDGE: What do you hope people take from what you do? Is it more than being entertained?
Delfino: “No, it's mostly just being entertained. I hope they will have my damn songs stuck in their heads for days, and will go on to poorly retell my jokes to their friends and family members. I plan to be more famous than Bon Jovi.”
