[ ]  Pretty as a picture: The Bank in Legos. (from The 700 Level and Home Run Derby)

  

 

[ ]   We know that you don’t come to Philly EDGE for baseball scores (unless you have a ‘special’ Phils helmet that you wear to the mall), so we assume that you already know that the Phils 2008 season opener didn’t go well yesterday, (Phillies.com) unless you were CBS3, whose ratings were up 90 percent over last year. (Laura Nachman)

      

       It could have been worse. If it had been Brad Lidge getting socked for 5 runs in the 9^th, that might have been all for the Fightins’ closer this year, which is to say, we’ve seen Flash shit the bed do this before.

 

       What we have not seen is Rudy Seanez, whom the team signed today as bullpen help. Seanez has always been rife with the promise of being a flame-throwing, lights-out, add-your-own silly fucking cliché here lefty righty (Sorry. - Ed.). BUT, he has always been very average, meaning he is the relief pitching equivalent of the guy who keeps regular-sized condoms in a Magnum box swimsuit model who just…sorta…lays there.

 

        The best parts of Seanez: these facts from his Wikipedia page:

 

Beyond the numbers, Seánez has shown the ability to overcome numerous injuries, combining weightlifting with some mixed martial arts during his offseason workout regimen. [1] Seánez has also trained with professional Ultimate Fighting Championship fighters, but denies he will fight once he retires because of his family. [2] He is also heavily tattooed [3].

 

      Awesome.

 

[ ]    Hugh Douglas, the player, got mad sometimes. (Deadspin)

 

Hugh Douglas just called me a motherfucking asshole. Not just an asshole. Or a motherfucker. A motherfucking asshole. Now, Hugh Douglas is a large man. That's a given, but it's hard to comprehend just how big NFL defensive ends actually are until you are being called a motherfucking asshole by one.

  

      Hugh Douglas Wants to Kill Me (Deadspin).